My Lords, Knights, Gentlemen and Serfs ... on behalf of the Ladies I thank thee for the magnificent banquet you gave in our honour.
    The victuals were delicious, the decorations impressive and the entertainment by the minstrels excellent.  T'was a pity that a few miscreants had to be confined to the stocks for cracking corny jokes.
    Apart from them we congratulate you for restricting your intake of Mead, refraining from using lewd language, spitting or making attacks on my ladies virtue, although I had counselled them to keep both legs in one garter.
    With the aid of the apothecaries my Lord George is now recovering from his attack of the vapours but regrets he will be unable to launch any vessels for the next month or so.
The Lady Bray of Sunnyside