On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I'm glad we brought fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
We tucked into our turkey, a most delicious bird

On the third day of Christmas we entertained the people from next door
The turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before

On the fourth day relations came to stay , poor Gran looked old
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold

On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were nice and warm inside, for we had the turkey curried

On the sixth day I must admit the Christmas spirit died
The children fought and bickered, we ate turkey rissoles fried

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince
When he sat down at table and was offered turkey mince

On the eighth day nerves were frayed, the dog had run for shelter
I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of alkaseltzer

On the ninth day our cat left home, by lunchtime dad was blotto
He said he had to have a drink to face turkey risotto.

On the tenth day the booze had gone ( except for some homemade brew )
And if that wasn't bad enough, we suffered turkey stew

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting
The mince pies were as hard as rock and the turkey was revolting

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love had a smile upon his lips
The guests were gone, the turkey too, and we dined on fish and chips.