Catering’s a nightmare! Are you the perfect hostess? It would seem that unless you bought everything that is 'not just food' but 'M&S food' you couldn't possibly be. Mind you the people at Park who want you to put so much away every month and will then supply you with a hamper of things you never knew you needed at Christmas, might disagree. At Christmas everyone you ever heard of is trying to flog their cook books (a thousand and one ways to ruin a turkey) or get you to by their Christmas CD.
    During December the country goes mad. People are suddenly overcome with an unexplained desire to festoon their houses with every electrical Christmas decoration ever devised. Neon Reindeer browse on the front lawns and plastic inflatable Santa's parachute from chimneys. House competes against house and road competes against road. The world’s gone crazy!
    Is it just me who thinks it or come Christmas do television schedulers take leave of their senses? If I have to sit through another re-run of 'The Great Escape' or' The Sound of Music' or a Morecombe & Wise Show made back in the year dot I think I'll go nuts. Programme schedulers must have a full frontal originality lobotomy as a prerequisite to getting their jobs.
    What I do like about Christmas is, despite their mobile phones continually ringing,, having my son and daughter to stay for a couple of days. They seem to enjoy themselves and, to date, have never expressed a desire to be anywhere else. They drink the cocktail cabinet dry, view anything to do with washing up as an alien concept, including loading or unloading the dishwasher. There's no hot water available from the time they arrive to the time they leave and wet towels are permanently festooned over the radiators. Their idea of Christmas decorations I suppose.
    They do however like silly board games, which I find quite amusing as I can't stand them, with the exception of Backgammon. But, Lyn and I do love having them to ourselves again, albeit just for a short time over Christmas. I guess we should count ourselves fortunate that they are still around and want to spend the holiday with us.
    Mike (Tongue in cheek grumpy old man) Baker