THE
MAINSHEET

Spring 2011

Contents

Commodore's Bit

 Introduction

AGM And Prize Giving

Annual Club Dinner

Annual Programme

Bodgit & Co

Burns Night & Video

Cheats Xmas Lunch

Club Open Weekend

Environmental Agency

Financial Problems

Financial Crisis (Solve)

Great Sailing

Hygiene

Kempton Park Fireworks

Ladies Lunch

Newsletter Printing

Out Of The Mouths Of

Pantomime March - May

Post Code (New)

Programme

Rigging

Sailing Prog. Notes

SigneT Open Meeting  

Something Special

Start Of Season Party

Subscriptions

Valley Gardens Visit

Web Site

What's Been Going On

Winter Water Front

Work Party

Work Party (Special)

Home

Out Of The Mouths Of …

The following was sent to me by a friend in the west country. These purport to be some answers to recent school exam papers. Read them and laugh (or weep)! And no I didn't make any spelling mistakes, this was the way it came …

History - In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaparated because it was safer in the country.

Maths - The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his slay.

History - Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisners end up in consterpation camps.

Religious Studies - A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed.

Maths - I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.

Geography - The closest town to France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

Maths - If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel

.

The Arts - … and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager.

The Arts - In last years Christmas concert Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.

Science - Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.

History - Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak.

Natural History - Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians

Geography - In geography we learned that countries with sea around them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents.

Religious Studies - If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are not allowed to do this.

History - Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

Geography - In Scandinavia the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.